Early warning signs
Being a single gal in a big city, I've had my fair share of dates. Some bad, some good. Some better than staying home and eating macaroni and cheese, some worse than dental work. Sometimes I feel sad for ostensibly single women in restaurants out for "girls' night out," sometimes I would pawn my soul at the QuickCash to trade places with them. In addition to being single, I'm also extremely discriminating. Some may call me picky or unrealistic, but I know in the first ten minutes whether or not I want to see someone again. Usually I don't, but in the last year or so I've made a concerted effort to give people a fair chance. All told, I can't say the being-less-picky plan has gotten me very far aside from learning to overlook my date's footwear (hey, I care about shoes -- I take a long time picking them out and assume others do the same) and extending some 'relationships' that were doomed from the beginning from the standard 1 or 2 dates to 5 or 12 dates. I do, however, think I have become more adept at not feeling guilty when I'm not into someone. A friend and I recently reviewed some of the sure-fire indicators that a successive date is NOT in the works:
1. Your date initiates a hardy hug goodbye on the the second date or later.
2. After saying goodbye, your date wishes you luck with your promotion, pesky neighbor problem, coursework, career, life. . .
3. And this is the biggest giveaway of all. . .the combination shrug/wave. If your date gives you the combination shrug/wave, you are SO not going out again. A wave on its own is benign, but the shrug/wave is deadly. It doesn't matter if you've just had the best sex of your life, named your unborn children, or went in on a time-share, the shrug/wave means it's o-v-e-r. I have no idea about the evolutionary origin of this gesture, but I do think it's almost completely uncontrollable. It's like shouting, "OHGODSHITFUCK!!" upon an almost-car-wreck when you're in the car with your parents. You don't particularly want to offend them, but your very life is in danger and your body simply falls back on what it knows. So dear readers, consider yourselves forewarned. Should you ever find yourself on the receiving end of the shrug/wave, don't take it personally, maybe it's just your shoes*.
*I kid, I kid. I have long since moved on from not continuing to see someone because of poor footwear choice.
1. Your date initiates a hardy hug goodbye on the the second date or later.
2. After saying goodbye, your date wishes you luck with your promotion, pesky neighbor problem, coursework, career, life. . .
3. And this is the biggest giveaway of all. . .the combination shrug/wave. If your date gives you the combination shrug/wave, you are SO not going out again. A wave on its own is benign, but the shrug/wave is deadly. It doesn't matter if you've just had the best sex of your life, named your unborn children, or went in on a time-share, the shrug/wave means it's o-v-e-r. I have no idea about the evolutionary origin of this gesture, but I do think it's almost completely uncontrollable. It's like shouting, "OHGODSHITFUCK!!" upon an almost-car-wreck when you're in the car with your parents. You don't particularly want to offend them, but your very life is in danger and your body simply falls back on what it knows. So dear readers, consider yourselves forewarned. Should you ever find yourself on the receiving end of the shrug/wave, don't take it personally, maybe it's just your shoes*.
*I kid, I kid. I have long since moved on from not continuing to see someone because of poor footwear choice.
posted by kelly at 8:33 PM
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