Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Give me scandals, lies, and deceit, or give me. . .

utter ridiculousness.

When I was a kid I would often think the following:

Some of these news stories seem pretty dumb. It almost seems like there wasn't any real news today so they made up this for us to watch in between commercials instead.

I also thought that, on days when there was no news to speak of, the newscasters should put a sign on their desk that said, "Nothing to see here folks - go outside and get some fresh air," or spend the time telling us about their favorite books. Neither of these things ever came to pass.

Last night was perhaps the worst offender of the No News violation in recorded history.

Los Angeles has been getting off easy this winter with little rain and lots of 80 degree days. This week the temperature's dropped significantly - even to (gasp!) the mid to upper 40s at night. Last night's lead story on ABC's local news broadcast was how it's KIND-OF cold.

First, the requisite teaser before the story about the chilly temps. The graphic behind the newscaster's head? A thermometer -- reading 55! They cut to a woman outside a (closed) coffee store. She's wearing a light fall jacket over her blazer and turtleneck. The anchor asks her about the weather. She reports, 'live, from the scene,' that it's "pretty chilly. . . a 3-layer night." This woman is neither wearing a scarf, a hat, nor gloves. She does not provide any quantitative indicator of the temperature. She notes that the cold weather is driving people to drink coffee (but apparently from other places, because the coffee store behind her is closed).

Cut to outdoor softball game. A player remarks that, "We can really feel the difference. It's affecting how we play - our noses are cold." Okaaaaaay. . . Cut to women in the bleachers who, according to the voiceover, "are covering up with anything to stay warm." One has a blanket. Another has put up her hoodie. No gloves, no scarves. No hypothermia.

The best, and final, part of this groundbreaking segment is when the news crew goes to Coldstone. SERIOUSLY. They report that even though the weather is cold, it does not seem to be deterring people from wanting to eat ice cream. What?! First people are drinking coffee? Now they're eating ice cream?? Is this a leftover piece on obesity or diabetes? I would also note that the cold weather has not seemed to deter adolescent Coldstone employees from wearing excessive quantities of eye makeup.

I'll leave you with this image - a Coldstone patron is interviewed about his *unbelieveable* food choice on this "pretty chilly" night. Under the shot of his head is his name, Chevon Something, and the caption "Likes ice cream."

It's all too much. Far, far, too much.




The old days, before "pretty chilly" weather took LA, and ice cream eaters, by surprise.



2 Comments:

Blogger gena said...

on the news in houston tonight: "does my butt look fat - how to pick the perfect pair of jeans"

7:27 PM  
Blogger Lebatron said...

Since you mentioned makeup, I just wanted to point something out. To the ladies: applying excessive makeup is one of the most distasteful, unattractive things a woman can do. I've written an article on this in my blog. Check it out.

8:04 AM  

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