Thursday, January 12, 2006

If it's not consensual, it's not foreplay.

Big news folks - we have some crime going down on the Westside. See what happens when the LAPD spends too much time killing black kids and not enough monitoring the comings and goings of tanned undergrads traveling from Starbucks to Coffee Bean in designer leggings and mullets? It's this guy:


Yes, this computer-generated mansimilie (he's really White, about 22 years old and between 5'7" and 5'11" if that doesn't come through from the picture) has been linked to five bear hugs/gropings on campus in recent weeks. Unlike my friends who actually do their work during the day, I read the notices from the building manager, only to learn on Wednesday that this guy walks up behind girls on the West border of campus, reaches around them from behind, squeezes their breasts, and runs away. Weird, huh? I mean, when push comes to shove I'd rather have this guy with a squeezing fetish on the loose than someone with a sawed off shotgun fetish roaming around. But still.

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