I know, I know.
I haven't had anything good to say in two months.
This afternoon I'm taking 2 Santa Monica Blue Buses and one (likely lavender) Southwest jet to embark on a 3 week LA hiatus. Boarding pass printed and drink coupons folded along the perforations.
A problem recently noted by myself and others (well, in addition to the rising cost of caffeine around here. They took away the fountain dispenser downstairs and raised the price of a 20 oz Pepsi to $1.25. Pretty soon it'll be more cost effective to do lines in your office than walk down and buy a soda.) is that once you actually find someone to "like", I mean really like, as in maybe you'd like them to audition to be your significant other, you end up on this stupid, stupid rollercoaster of feeling dependent and worthless when you don't hear from them to giddily giving away your stipend in small bills to people on the street when you do. For example, right now two people are in my lineup. One is welcome, one is a hanger-on. I had drinks with the hanger-on several weeks ago. It wasn't love at first sight. I didn't even particularly care to have a second sight. I don't think he felt the magic either. In fact, I'm pretty sure he almost invited me to the Spoon show with him, but changed his mind. I'm also pretty sure I saw him at the Spoon show with some other girl (who, incidentally, was way too hot for him). I thought this guy was going to disappear into the woodwork after our non-starter date. Instead, he keeps emailing me every week or so. I DON'T EVEN OPEN THE EMAILS for a few days, always scared he's going to berate me for stringing him along with my lame excuses for why I'm too busy/previously engaged to see him again.
Guy number two and I have gone out a few times - drinks, dinner out, dinner in, free tickets to the symphony from my advisor. It's not like this guy is my soul mate, but he has his shit together, is entertaining, and seems to like me - when I see him. The problem is that with this guy, I know exactly when we last went out, talked on the phone, or played phone tag. I also know what it means to really be too busy and what it means to lamely feign busyness (see deplorable behavior toward guy number one). Sure, I think this guy is perfectly capable of not calling me or making plans with me if he's not interested, just like I should be perfectly capable of not emailing guy number one when I'm not interested. I also know that if I were really interested in guy number one, I would've accommodated him into my "busy" schedule.
So here we are. Strong, independent woman feeling conflicted because (a) it appears that a guy she's not even sure she likes may not even be sure that he likes her and (b) she's worried that someone might be giving her a taste of her own medicine. Maybe if I had a cat this would not be an issue.
This afternoon I'm taking 2 Santa Monica Blue Buses and one (likely lavender) Southwest jet to embark on a 3 week LA hiatus. Boarding pass printed and drink coupons folded along the perforations.
A problem recently noted by myself and others (well, in addition to the rising cost of caffeine around here. They took away the fountain dispenser downstairs and raised the price of a 20 oz Pepsi to $1.25. Pretty soon it'll be more cost effective to do lines in your office than walk down and buy a soda.) is that once you actually find someone to "like", I mean really like, as in maybe you'd like them to audition to be your significant other, you end up on this stupid, stupid rollercoaster of feeling dependent and worthless when you don't hear from them to giddily giving away your stipend in small bills to people on the street when you do. For example, right now two people are in my lineup. One is welcome, one is a hanger-on. I had drinks with the hanger-on several weeks ago. It wasn't love at first sight. I didn't even particularly care to have a second sight. I don't think he felt the magic either. In fact, I'm pretty sure he almost invited me to the Spoon show with him, but changed his mind. I'm also pretty sure I saw him at the Spoon show with some other girl (who, incidentally, was way too hot for him). I thought this guy was going to disappear into the woodwork after our non-starter date. Instead, he keeps emailing me every week or so. I DON'T EVEN OPEN THE EMAILS for a few days, always scared he's going to berate me for stringing him along with my lame excuses for why I'm too busy/previously engaged to see him again.
Guy number two and I have gone out a few times - drinks, dinner out, dinner in, free tickets to the symphony from my advisor. It's not like this guy is my soul mate, but he has his shit together, is entertaining, and seems to like me - when I see him. The problem is that with this guy, I know exactly when we last went out, talked on the phone, or played phone tag. I also know what it means to really be too busy and what it means to lamely feign busyness (see deplorable behavior toward guy number one). Sure, I think this guy is perfectly capable of not calling me or making plans with me if he's not interested, just like I should be perfectly capable of not emailing guy number one when I'm not interested. I also know that if I were really interested in guy number one, I would've accommodated him into my "busy" schedule.
So here we are. Strong, independent woman feeling conflicted because (a) it appears that a guy she's not even sure she likes may not even be sure that he likes her and (b) she's worried that someone might be giving her a taste of her own medicine. Maybe if I had a cat this would not be an issue.
posted by kelly at 12:01 PM
1 Comments:
seriously dude. cats are the answer to all problems.
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