Monday, April 25, 2005

The juicy* bits: Installment 1

This is the first (of 2, excluding Friendster) guy I dated from the internet. Yep. I'm coming out of the internet-dating closet for once and for all-- but I'm more bi than full-on internet. And I always C - R - I - N - G - E whenever I even imagine the awkwardness that can ensue.

So yeah, this guy. Even though his profile was similar to how it is now, only months after I broke up with him did I realize that this guy couldn't have spelled out, "I AM REALLY INTERESTED IN GETTING IT ON. AND ON." more clearly if he'd leased a billboard. But I was younger then (sigh). . . and it was 2003.

The funny thing is, this guy was totally into being a "boyfriend." He always wanted to do 'couple-y' things like cook dinner, go to concerts, ride his vintage bikes to street fairs, and go to his company parties at swanky estates in Malibu. Once he called me just to tell me about his day at work and I was totally flummoxed.

One problem was that most of the time his job ended at 6, and mine didn't really end ever (well, it wasn't *supposed* to)-- in fact, I attribute getting a B in the first half of advanced statistics to having spent too much time playing Connect 4 and pool and too little time understanding estimators and predictors. Ultimately, I traded up (or thought so at the time) for a model that was certainly more intellectually and ideologically similar to me (e.g., the dude in the profile was skeptical that Radiohead's "Hail to the Thief" had anything to do with political motivation), but certainly not emotionally available or inclined to jump into full-on 'boyfriend' mode anytime this century. And basically I've been dating versions of the second guy ever since-- well if I meet them in real life. I've never creeped into "tell me about your day" territory with anyone else from online or some other contrived dating experience.

Of all (not like it's *that* many) guys I've dated in LA, it's only this one that I ever think about in a counterfactual, 'what if,' kind of way. It's not that the only reason we broke up was about Radiohead or schedules, but I think-- 'yep, that is the alternative to being in these faux relationships with people I think are cool and smart,' and obviously I keep choosing the latter for some reason.


*not THAT juicy, but better than Dorothy Hamil.

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